In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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