what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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