she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
