I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
