yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
