It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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