Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
