i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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