I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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