one might say we're banned from that church
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
