i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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