At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
