Farmville is her only friend.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
This show inspires me to have sex in space
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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