He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
