so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
