Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
