$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
