why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
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