Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Come on in and take your pants off
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