I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
