It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
