after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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