i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
