that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
