better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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