one might say we're banned from that church
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
