How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
