dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He did a backflip because drugs
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
