I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
