I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
