Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
