so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
