I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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