Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
