Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
it glows. i had to have it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Randomize
