i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
