I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
