Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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