Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
