My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
