I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
