Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
