oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
