i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So much rum. So many feels.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
