i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
