If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
