I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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