Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I would fuck him just for his dog
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
