Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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