Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
