And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
