do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
