The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
