Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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