Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
