You insisted on take shots off of plates.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
