I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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