The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
