Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
