I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
