We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
