I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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