It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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