Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think my vagina is haunted
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
