Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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