i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
