remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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